What’s smelly and not so deadly?

I’m so glad to be able to bring you this breaking news… Perhaps that’s because I have a good nose for a story. And talking of noses, what kind of food do we prize for its smell?

Well, there’s the durian, deliciously enthralling with its smell of rotting compost. (Smells rotten, tastes delicious!)

And, of course, the smell of fermented herring is enough to make you wish for a permanent loss of smell and taste. (But more about that in another post.)

And then there is cheese. Cheeses that run off the plate, ooze down the sides of dishes, and run away screaming gleefully, “I stink!” After all, who wants a pungent-free cheese? Not the French or the Italians, and certainly not the British!

We may not be well known for our cuisine or our fine cheeses, but when it comes to stinky food, by golly are we good! Did you know that we hold Britain’s Smelliest Cheese Championships every year? This year’s pungent winner is none other than Stinking Bishop. Apparently, the cheese “blew the judges away and was described as smelling like a rugby club changing room.”

What an accolade! It smells better than cheesy socks or a hundred sweaty armpits or those clothes that have been slept in for over a week. (What is it about a rugby changing room that makes it smell like rotting cheese? Could it be the oddly-shaped balls, the violent tackles, the broken noses?)

Still, if you don’t like the taste or if you suffer from insomnia, you can always use the smell to knock yourself out. Is there a burglar in your house? Then just waft a hunk of Stinking Bishop in front of him. That should do the trick!

How did the cheese get its name? Well, apparently the cheese-maker named it after a drunken farmer who was famous for shooting his kettle when it took too long to boil.

It’s odd stories and eccentrics like these that make us proud of our British achievements.

Now – look at the camera and say …

… Cheese!