Down with grumpy old bats

I’m usually quite a tolerant person – really I am… But there is something about the grumpy old bat (or GOB) up the road that really makes it difficult for me to like her. Not so long ago, she tried to terrorize Karriärmamman and me because we let the kids play in the … wait for it .. autumn leaves.

Yesterday, she was outside her flat with nothing to do …

… except stalk unsuspecting prey.

That prey just happened to be me – again!

There I was walking up to school with the dog – minding my own business. The dog was off the lead and I was concentrating on him: making sure that he was walking heel. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a creature wearing a neon green jacket, an old cap, baggy golf trousers tucked into grey wellington boots and an evil smile.

It turned out to be THE grumpy old bag – i.e. GOB – from last time. I walked past her, keeping eye contact with the dog. When I was nearly out of earshot, she suddenly shouted out to me: “What are YOU staring at?!”

Well, it wasn’t at her – and I think that peeved her!

I swear it: next time I’m going to sneak out in the middle of the night and set up an Anti-GOB zone. Yup – I’m going to paint a white square outside her flat with the words: GOB-free zone. NO GOBs allowed!

That should keep her inside and out of harm’s way from now until kingdom come.

10 thoughts on “Down with grumpy old bats

  1. I suspect she is probably immune to anything you can think of to say to her. I don’t know if graffiti is the answer, but perhaps if you hope hard enough, she will get on her broomstick and fly away. Also? people like that HATE when you are really really nice to them!

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  2. what a meanie! sorry she pesters you like that! I agree with hayseed, try being sugary sweet to her…at the least she will probably start ignoring you

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  3. Time for some sugar, even if she refuses to. Say hello to her and smile widely. My guess is: she is a very lonely person, and keeping her distance from others protects her from her own sense of loneliness. Maybe she is hard of hearing, or her temperament is just simply foul. In either case, the gift of a smile – even if this infuriates her – is the least expensive one we can give to another. And take it from me, it makes for much better wrinkles! Thank you for coming by today, it is nice to see your name,

    Allegra

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  4. She’s probably very unhappy with things that have happened (or she has done) in her life and doesn’t know how to change. What a shame- she must be very lonely (self-inflicted). You are a natural at chatting to strangers Fi, and making them feel at ease- why don’t you try a charm offensive and see what happens. you may need some patience though!

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  5. Lady Fi Hi! I suspect that the GOB needs a small love package, something small maybe homemade..wrap it beautifully and take it to her, some of your tea with a special saying ? Or Jam. all GOBs like Jam..sweetens them up! (I hope she is not a diabetic GOB) or maybe something you baked. The what is not as important as the how it is wrapped and presented, take the children with you. Smile..then you will know if she is senile or hard of hearing or truly a GOB 🙂

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  6. Thanks for your input, guys! I’ve tried reasoning with the old bat and I’ve tried ignoring her – i.e. not taking the bait. Next time: I promise I’ll be really really nice to her… I made a start yesterday by being really nice to her friend…

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  7. Hahahahaha… I had plans to..every morning in the dark, walking by her house I struggled NOT to tear up the bags with leaves she had gathered together (to prevent children from having fun I guess) and spread them around the tree again….MOHAHAHAHAHA

    Damn my good manners. 😉

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