In which I describe how attractive I am…

It’s been one of those weeks.

The dog gets mauled and my body decides to strike in sympathy.

What started out as a simple case of Athlete’s Foot (in me, not the dog – no athletics required) decided to blow itself up (almost literally) into something much worse. It got infected and turned my foot into a painful red balloon. Squeezing on my boot was pathetically like an elephant trying to put on Cinderella’s delicate glass slipper.

Then, to top it all off, my body erupted into hundreds of tiny and very itchy red dots – literally covering me everywhere from the neck downwards. According to the doctor it’s a viral rash… Yes, it seems as if I might be allergic to my own feet. Which is inconvenient – not to mention self-de-feet-ing.

Oh – and did I mention that these spots itch with the ferocity of a million fire ant bites?

Hundreds of the spots have migrated overnight to form cartels and red angry continents. I think I spotted Africa on my inner thigh, and Australia is fighting with North America for domination of my neck.

I know – I really am looking very attractive at the moment. Still, I’m the only person I know who has her own portable dot-to-dot drawing all over her body.

So, bring along your crayons and we’ll have a spot the spot party.