In which I describe how attractive I am…

It’s been one of those weeks.

The dog gets mauled and my body decides to strike in sympathy.

What started out as a simple case of Athlete’s Foot (in me, not the dog – no athletics required) decided to blow itself up (almost literally) into something much worse. It got infected and turned my foot into a painful red balloon. Squeezing on my boot was pathetically like an elephant trying to put on Cinderella’s delicate glass slipper.

Then, to top it all off, my body erupted into hundreds of tiny and very itchy red dots – literally covering me everywhere from the neck downwards. According to the doctor it’s a viral rash… Yes, it seems as if I might be allergic to my own feet. Which is inconvenient – not to mention self-de-feet-ing.

Oh – and did I mention that these spots itch with the ferocity of a million fire ant bites?

Hundreds of the spots have migrated overnight to form cartels and red angry continents. I think I spotted Africa on my inner thigh, and Australia is fighting with North America for domination of my neck.

I know – I really am looking very attractive at the moment. Still, I’m the only person I know who has her own portable dot-to-dot drawing all over her body.

So, bring along your crayons and we’ll have a spot the spot party.

41 responses

  1. kelli

    so sorry you are under the weather, but please promise that you will post the pic when the anklebiters decide to actually connect the dots with a bright purple marker! :o)

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 07:08

  2. Blu

    I hope that you are not ticklish too when we start drawing on you! Maybe it is a map of Treasure Island!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 07:36

  3. Gosh that must be painful. The only good thing is that your sense of humour is still intact!

    And when the anklebiters reallly start playing connect the dots, do let us know.

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 08:40

  4. But apart from that Mrs Lincoln, what did you think of the play?

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 10:02

  5. oh yuck 😦 poor you! Do you have some sort of good ointment? Aloe vera gel at least for the itching?
    I had to go see a doctor yesterday because I coughed ALL night until 7 am and gradually felt much worse, and since i had no voice I couldn’t call anyone 😦

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 10:55

  6. You poor woman!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 11:36

  7. Rest, rest and more rest, that’s an order. Your body is telling you something. Hope it’s on the mend. x

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 11:56

  8. yikes! at least you remain in good humor. hope that all clears up soon.

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 12:08

  9. Oh Lady Fi! It’s a gift to be able to find the humor in this situation, but I’m so sorry that you “found” this opportunity. (I still laughed at your post though.)

    Get Better Soon!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 13:31

  10. Po

    Poor Ladyfi! I got a verruca if that makes you feel any better. It is so sore to walk on. But no dot to dot, that sounds awful.

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 13:38

  11. Get well soon, Lady Fi. And just to take your mind off things, I have a question…is your dog bilingual? Do you and your husband use different commands for him? We are about to become the proud “owners” of a dog, and we don’t know whether to train him in German, English or Italian, or whether he might make our lives easier and become trilingual like the kids…

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 14:37

    • How exciting! What kind of dog are you getting? Larger dogs are more intelligent than smaller ones and can learn more commands. We usually use Swedish as he was 4.5 yrs old when we got him from his Swedish breeders/owners.

      If he’s a young dog, then go ahead and use three languages!

      Like

      March 4, 2010 at 14:50

      • Thanks for this. He’s a drathaar (if I’ve spelled it right), and he’s only 3 months. I’d love to do an experiment in triligual training, but I have to tell you I’d prefer unstinting obedience! I’ll let you know how we get on.

        Like

        March 5, 2010 at 10:40

  12. Oh dear, you need a hug and a long rest. So glad you managed to keep your sense of humour, though!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 15:24

  13. You still got your sense of humor, but I hope you feel better soon!! I know how bad an itch can be!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 15:29

  14. Seashell

    I truly admire your optimism in such adversity. Hope the dots disappear and your foot is mended asap.

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 15:37

  15. I hope the spots aren’t sending you dotty!

    Hope the rash clears up soon.

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 16:28

  16. That sounds so miserable! I hope you feel better soon!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 16:49

  17. I hear alcohol works well for an itchy rash. Drink it, don’t put it on the rash. If the rash doesn’t go, you won’t care.
    V.

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 18:38

  18. ouch

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 18:54

  19. YOU POOR BABY!!!!!!! What a freakish thing to happen. I can’t believe I didn’t get it! lol I have never heard of anything like this and it sounds horrible to have to live with. I will be praying for speedy abatement and rapid relief. I hope the meds they are providing offer some respite from the madness of itching. I’m so sorry! Please do everything they say, take care of yourself, and attempt no heroics. You can NEVER hope to medal in that event, you know!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 20:06

  20. Clive

    Poor Lady Fi, that’s sounds so uncomfortable – hope the meds kick in soon!

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 22:21

  21. Oh Fiona, how awful.

    The photos won’t load for me, and maybe that is a good thing, they might be too graphic. LOL.

    I really hope that you feel better soon, this sounds like something I had a while ago. The rash part only. Nice to know that they can tell you what it is.

    Jen

    Like

    March 4, 2010 at 22:51

  22. Oh OW! I don’t know what else to say than just OW! Gah I hope that goes away completely and quickly.

    Like

    March 5, 2010 at 01:09

  23. I had a viral rash once they called it something Rosy..it was not fun at all.. I had to take special medication..it was so itchy.. I did oatmeal and milk compressess in the tub..oh it was so attractive.
    I do hope it was just a virus..if you get worse..you must go back to the Doctor..there is a terrible syndrome out there called Steven Johnsons..a rash that gets worse.. and people die from it.. and we want to keep you around a long time..I will say a prayer of comfort and healing for you.. there it is accomplished and you should be feeling better !! 🙂

    Like

    March 5, 2010 at 06:16

  24. I’m a little late her, so I hope the healing has begun by now. Love that you can see the humor through the frustration and pain. That will keep you sane.

    Like

    March 5, 2010 at 17:44

  25. I don’t know what is worse … your description or your horrible puns!! Hope you are feeling better!

    Like

    March 6, 2010 at 05:18

  26. Oh yikes! I hope you’re feeling better.

    HaHA at the -self defeating 🙂

    Like

    March 6, 2010 at 08:58

  27. lilalia

    You poor dear. Hope you manage to keep your spirits up. Get well soon.

    Like

    March 6, 2010 at 22:30

  28. Ohmygosh! My heart goes out to you and I’m sending healing thoughts, yet your adorable dot-to-dot makes me smile inappropriately. Hope you feel better soon.
    Hugs and blessings,

    Like

    March 8, 2010 at 01:35

  29. Oh – I hope this rash has subsided – are you allergic to some meds you’ve taken?

    Like

    March 8, 2010 at 07:17

  30. I assume you are feeling much better by now.
    This all sounded too much for a Lady.

    Like

    March 15, 2010 at 03:21

  31. I have to one up you. When I was in high school I got athlete’s foot. And lost all my nails. And I kept stubbing my toes. My socks were always filled with blood. I was a great hit at the dances.
    Get well.

    Like

    January 19, 2012 at 17:10

  32. You made this sound so funny, but I’m sure it’s not! (or wasn’t) Praying you are all better now! It reminds me of when I got poison oak on my neck and nose and around my eyes. Lovely!

    Like

    February 11, 2012 at 09:12

  33. hello, lady fi,

    i hope you got over this pretty fine. love your continents analogy, too clever… once i also had rashes all over my body. they went away after 5days. but it was horrible! 😉

    Like

    April 28, 2012 at 04:45

    • Thanks!

      Like

      April 28, 2012 at 06:23

    • LOL – I had to take antibiotics, but they did go away after about a week – in which I could hardly show my face outside! 😉

      Like

      April 28, 2012 at 06:25

  34. You paint (sorry, bad pun) such a pretty picture with your dot-to-dot story. Hope it’s better now.

    Jim

    Like

    June 22, 2012 at 18:27

    • LOL – yes thanks. This was a couple of years ago. I’m spot-free again.

      Like

      June 22, 2012 at 18:32

  35. Sorry you’ve been through all of this. But your sense of humor is implacable. Feel better soon!

    Like

    July 11, 2012 at 17:38

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