Laughing gas attacks

A lot of you wanted to know more about my job as a … ahem … cook on a dive boat off the Queensland coast, Australia. I will tell you all, I promise – but not today.

You see, when I happened to mention it to my family, they exploded with laughter. Yes – each and every one of them.

“YOU! A cook!”

“I can’t believe it! Were they really desperate, mama?”

They rolled around on the floor, laughing their heads off. Then, full of laughing gas, they floated up to the ceiling just as they do in Mary Poppins and they still haven’t come down! Even the dog rolled on his back in merriment.

Sir Pe didn’t help by asking, “So, was this a ship full of prisoners? And were you the head of the Cruel and Unusual Punishments division?”

With family like this – who needs enemies?

The actual job advertisement asked for a Jill of all trades – someone to look after the paying guests and change their bedsheets. There was no mention at all of cooking, slaving over a hot stove or even of having the slightest knowledge of what a kitchen is.

So, how on earth did the poor passengers I survive? Read how I was nearly stranded in the middle of nowhere – and tricked by the captain…

Another exciting installment to come later on…