Got my hair cut on Monday.
There’s something about my hair that just sends hairdressers wild! The problem is that it is flat, and flat hair isn’t cool or acceptable. It lies too close to my scalp, ready to be formed into any old hairstyle: like bad hat hair. Or, if I have had a sleepless night, it sticks up on end and makes me look like Albert Einstein. Or as if I have just been electrocuted. Much to my family’s delight.
The hairdresser washed and cut my hair in about 15 minutes flat (pun intended). She then took nearly 30 painstaking minutes curling it around a hairbrush and blow-drying it in an attempt to give me that all-important style WOW factor: volume.
Poor girl was exhausted. “Don’t you ever blow-dry your hair in order to get more volume?” she asked.
“Yes. I even hang upside down while I dry my hair.” I could see that she didn’t really believe me.
At last she declared that she was satisfied, and I was allowed to put my glasses back on. (Somehow it is less painful not to watch the whole procedure.)
And sure enough – I had it: volume. And lots of it! My hair looked like a hairy halo and wasn’t anywhere near the vicinity of my head. (I didn’t want to disillusion her and tell her that volume would be replaced by flatness as soon as I put my hat on my head.)
What do they do at hairdressing college? Have poofy hair competitions? Sit and watch each other, waving their hairdryers in the air and chanting: VO-LUME! VO–O–O–LUME!?
There was only one thought racing through my mind… that I resembled none other than Manny the mammoth from Ice Age. As he would say, “It’s my hair. It makes me look poofy.”
Lady Fi 
I was a Hairdresser for 13 years…
Can’t remember ever having a “hair poofing” module during my apprenticeship though!
I always promise though I would never be the Hairdresser that when you ask for an inch off takes 2!
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Too funny, your writing. I think I must be a hairdresser’s nightmare. I have huge amounts of tons of hair. When I go to, ummm, cover the gray stuff, I always tell them to mix extra magic (color). They look at me with the “who’s the professional here?” look. And then half way through my scalp they sheepishly sneak off to mix more magic. And forget the drying. I walk out of the hairdresser with wet hair because it’s taken so bloody long to get it cut and colored that I don’t have time for the finale. I know it makes them crazy, but hey – it’s me. My current guy just knows. . . he says it’s bad marketing, but he doesn’t complain too loudly anymore.
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You can have my hair any day.
It’s curly, and it doesn’t curl the same way from one day to another. And if I go NEAR a blowdryer I look like a head banger from the 80’s – on a bad bad hair day.
I praise the one who invented the flattening gadget. I went thru my child hood hating my hair, standing in front of the mirror water combing it. At least that way it stayed flat for a whole 5 seconds before some devious little curl decided to dry and go “sproooing” and ruin my day.
Then I went thru my teens, growing it as long as I possibly could. Which only made me look more of a head banger…and mind you, this was in the 80’s.
1998 I cut my hair, all of it. Super short. And I mean super short, you could almost see the scalp. And then, one year later they invent this little gadget called flattening iron…oh the irony.
If I only had that 20 years (or more…) earlier. It’s grown back, and I love my gadget.
WTF needs volume?????
Oh – and why didn’t you take any pictures of the colume hair that you had for about five minutes ;o)
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Is it just me, or do you have a new banner on the blog? ;o)
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Blue: Five minutes wasn’t enough time to get home and whip out the camera to take a picture… so you’ll have to make do with Manny. BTW, if I get your hair, then what will you do for hair?
And – well spotted – I do indeed have a new banner. Recognize the handwriting?
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But did you enjoy your poofiness while you had it? I always get a lift from going to the hairdresser because for a short while I kind of look like someone else (someone who actually cares about her hair)- and I tell people that it won’t look like that tomorrow. And I am also poofiness-challenged, like yourself.
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Smilingggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the comment on my blog!
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My hairdresser is just the opposite. She blow dries it straight then flat irons it. It’s plastered flat to my head. And you would think, living in Texas, where we pride ourselves on big hair, she would have your hairdresser’s mentality!
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I’ll take yours Fi….that will save me hours with the flattening iron :o)
Deal?
And yeah, I think I do recognize the handwriting…hmm…it looks soo – familiar?
;o)
Very nice banner…I am speechless actually. That you made my little thing into a banner. Enjoy the speechlessness (nice word there), it usually doesn’t last long….
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hehe The hair dresser always asks me questions and I always lie because I never do anything to my hair, I don’t know how!
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hahaha i have curly hair and i ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS just wanted it to lay flat on my head. I used to put an bandana on so my hair would dry flat…uh…it looked awful but i was 14…what do you expect you know?
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Great blog Lady! I can identify with you totally..says she with longish hair trapped in a ponytail, flipped back upon itself..so it looks like an old lady bun..of sorts:)
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Hahahaha…I hear you. I had a hairdresser like that, she LOVES poofy hair.
I stopped going.
I have flat hair and I am very proud of it.
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LOL GREAT post! Hope you like your hair better today than then..it always takes a few days for a new cut to settle! 🙂
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I’ve been planning a trip to the hairdresser myself, for my once-a-year haircut. Only I haven’t worked up the nerve yet. I’m thinking about getting my bangs back, after about 15 years of all-one-length hair. Scary!!
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