Got my hair cut on Monday.
There’s something about my hair that just sends hairdressers wild! The problem is that it is flat, and flat hair isn’t cool or acceptable. It lies too close to my scalp, ready to be formed into any old hairstyle: like bad hat hair. Or, if I have had a sleepless night, it sticks up on end and makes me look like Albert Einstein. Or as if I have just been electrocuted. Much to my family’s delight.
The hairdresser washed and cut my hair in about 15 minutes flat (pun intended). She then took nearly 30 painstaking minutes curling it around a hairbrush and blow-drying it in an attempt to give me that all-important style WOW factor: volume.
Poor girl was exhausted. “Don’t you ever blow-dry your hair in order to get more volume?” she asked.
“Yes. I even hang upside down while I dry my hair.” I could see that she didn’t really believe me.
At last she declared that she was satisfied, and I was allowed to put my glasses back on. (Somehow it is less painful not to watch the whole procedure.)
And sure enough – I had it: volume. And lots of it! My hair looked like a hairy halo and wasn’t anywhere near the vicinity of my head. (I didn’t want to disillusion her and tell her that volume would be replaced by flatness as soon as I put my hat on my head.)
What do they do at hairdressing college? Have poofy hair competitions? Sit and watch each other, waving their hairdryers in the air and chanting: VO-LUME! VO–O–O–LUME!?
There was only one thought racing through my mind… that I resembled none other than Manny the mammoth from Ice Age. As he would say, “It’s my hair. It makes me look poofy.”