Very odd indeed!

Britain is famous for being a country of eccentrics, of oddballs, if you like. (I imagine that you’ve already guessed this from reading my blog.)

For the past thirty years, the Bookseller has awarded the Diagram Prize to the book with the oddest title. Online voters chose a cheesy title: The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-miligram Containers of Fromage Frais. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? The Fromage Frais book has been crowned Oddest Book Title of 2008. Actually, it seems to be a fairly topical book as it looks at the use of dairy packaging – which, after all, is not very environmentally-friendly. Still, it would be rather difficult to sell fromage frais in paper bags, I imagine.

The runner-up was the mystifyingly titled book: Baboon Metaphysics. Which just goes to show that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys – or, at least, baboons.

So, how did it all start? Well, Bruce Robertson of the Diagram Group was really bored at the Frankfurt Book Fair back in 1978, so he started looking for weird and wonderful book titles as a way of passing the time enjoyably. The very first book to win the prize was called Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice. (I never realized that mice wore clothes, so this was quite an eye-opener!)

Not content with finding oddball titles every year, the Bookseller also set out to find the oddest title of the past thirty years! Not an easy task with so many to choose from. The Nude Mice book was a hot contender, but then People who Don’t Know They’re Dead led the polls for a full three weeks. Those naked mice were shredding their clothes in anger – well, they would have if they had had any.

Just as the voting was closing, a dark horse popped out from the woodwork (I do love mixing my metaphors!) and won the crown as the Oddest Book Title in the past thirty years. The winning title? Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers! Apparently, it’s a comprehensive look at a sector of Greece’s postal routes. Might be worth investing in if you have insomnia, for example…

The winner of this Diagram of Diagrams also faced stiff opposition from Living with Crazy Buttocks (don’t we all?) and the 2007 winner, If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs.

The fact that Greek Rural Postmen won just goes to show that mail deliveries are far more important than mice, the dead and soft porn.

Well, as I said before, Britain is a nation of eccentrics!

Silly Saturday

Yeah, yeah… I know! I’m silly every day! But I feel extra silly today…

Sharp and witty political insight from Lady Fi – or totally inane and irrelevant? You decide!

Grin and bare it!

My sister on our frozen lake in Sweden - look at her bare feet!!!

As you know, my sister is here. What you may not know is that she is totally bonkers! (Well, it does run in the family…) When I asked her for an interview, she agreed to reveal a little known secret. So here it is: an exclusive interview. Never seen before (well, not on this blog, anyway).

You see, she is a member of a society. A bare society. One that encourages nudity. Of the feet. “Did you know that we are born with our own shoes? They’re water-proof and free with leathery soles!” That’s how my sister describes the joys of living barefoot. All the time. So keen is she that she is now a member of the Society for Barefoot Living.

So, how did it all start? Well, her husband started running without shoes on in order to cure his Achilles heel problems. This was last September. One sunny day, my sister wondered what it would feel like to walk on the streets and woods without her shoes on. She never looked back.

She loved the feel of crunchy twigs, springy moss, hot pavements, cool shop interiors, smooth floors, rain and cold snow under her feet. These days she drives barefoot, shops without her shoes on and walks barefoot as much as possible – or as much as her courage allows.

I wondered what the benefits are. “It’s healthy and a good way to exercise your feet. It takes ten years off your life.” When she first started barefooting (that’s a technical term), she wondered why her feet were bright pink. “Er… that’s your circulation,” her husband explained. Apparently, she hasn’t had circulation before, poor thing.

“My feet are tingly all over. It’s fun. You can feel everything!” And – here’s the clincher (well, apart from the looking younger bit. Barefooting is, at least, cheaper than Botox.) “I feel like a child again!”

And – if you think about it – most of us went barefoot as kids. I know we did – and the anklebiters refuse shoes and socks as soon as the weather allows. (I’ll let you into a little secret: I never ever wear shoes indoors.)

Do you remember the feel of sand between your toes, mud oozing over your feet or the freshly-scented feel of grass? Liberating. Carefree. The feel of childhood.

Go on – try it out! You know you want to…

Waffling on about spring

Today it is officially the first day of spring! The hens are laying eggs, the cows are giving milk and the flowers bloom like pretty balloons in the pastures. And hark – I can hear a choir of angels – or singing nuns – or … Wait! Back up… Because when I went out this morning, this is the scene that greeted me:

A glorious sun shining on the frozen lake so that it looked like a carpet of diamonds. Fresh snow and minus 13 C! Welcome to spring. By the way, did I mention that this is the first day of spring?

Some of you might know this day better as Lady Day or as the Feast of the Annunciation. Or to put it more simply, the Angel Gabriel told Mary that she was going to have a baby. And for some reason, the Swedes celebrate this day by eating waffles. A bit of googling told me that in medieval times, vendors used to sell waffles outside churches on special religious celebrations. In fact, they used to compete so fiercely about whose waffle was biggest that France was forced to instigate a ‘Waffle Law’ – a kind of restraining order that said waffle vendors had to remain six feet apart!

I can just imagine the French waffle vendors fighting – can’t you? Imagine all this with a French accent if you will…

“You are just a load of hot waffle, you leetle toad!”

“Your muther was an escargot and your father was a flaky croissant!”

“You mean, one of those croissants made wiz zee rich butter…”

“Yes. And with pastry so soft it melts in ze mouth. Oh, cabbages! We are supposed to be enemies…”

“Oh, yes! Sorry! You are just so full of crepe!”

And so on!

Now – where was I? Oh yes – trying to find a connection between the church and waffles. Just done that!

The other reason why Swedes eat waffles on 25 March is because it’s supposed to be the first day of spring. (Have I already mentioned this?) That’s right – hens lay eggs, cows give milk and those nuns are singing high up in the hills… Whatever! Anyway, eating heart-shaped waffles (for ALL waffles in Sweden are that shape) with cream and jam is definitely the first sign of spring. No matter what the weather is doing!

(My sister arrives from England this evening, so we have decided to eat the first sign of spring tomorrow instead… Oh – and if I don’t post quite so often this week, then blame it on my visitors. You know how demanding they can be – always wanting to eat food or talk or do something that can interfere with blogging…)

A satisfying and complete read

A couple of weeks ago, I finished reading a book that is probably one of the most satisfying and complete reads I’ve read in a long while. The book explores the implications of whom we choose to love, and looks at how different our lives can turn out, depending on the paths we choose for ourselves. I am, of course, referring to Lionel Shriver’s The Post-Birthday World. (She shot to fame with her book We Need to Talk About Kevin.)

The story weaves together two parallel universes, showing us the two different paths that our heroine takes depending on the decision she makes in the first chapter. The protagonist, Irina, is in a stable yet stodgy relationship. At the end of the first chapter, she is very tempted to kiss another man. In one story, she resists and stays with her long-time partner. In the other alternative, she kisses the man and this leads to a wild, tempestuous relationship.

After the first chapter, we have two chapter twos, two chapter threes and so on, as Shriver explores Irina’s two possible futures. The two men are polar opposites. Lawrence is stable, stuffy and a little staid while Ramsey is a famous snooker player who is jealous and unstable. Neither of them is perfect and Shriver manages to paint two complex portraits of these men and of Irina’s possible lives.

As Irina herself says, “The idea is you don’t have only one destiny . . . as if everything hinges on one decision. But whatever direction you go there are going to be upsides and downsides.”

The other underlying theme in the book is, believe it or not, snooker. Who knew that there was so much passion underneath the cool exteriors of those suited snooker players?

As you can see, I have already launched myself into my next book: The 19th Wife. It’s a fascinating look at plural marriage (polygamy) in the US, both in the past and present.

Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like if you had made a different decision somewhere in your past?

Ooh aye – life is grand

My OU-studying pal French Fancy recently wrote about why life is grand. And I thought it was such a good idea because it is all too easy to focus on the negative side of life. The media may thrive on doom and gloom but the rest of us don’t.

So, why is life grand?

1. It is getting light! I saw a pale pink sunset this morning at six o’clock when I got up. And it was still light at 6 pm when I came home from work one evening. Glorious!

2. Thank goodness for coffee and spicy Yogi tea! They do wonders when it comes to perking me up.

3. Talking of yogis – our very own cyber yogi Braja is doing much better. After complaining about the hospital food, they sent her home. Atta girl! Her husband has been moved out of Intensive Care and is also recovering slowly.

4. Sir Pe, my anklebiters and, of course, Oscar  the dog – thanks for keeping me on my toes and making me laugh. (Oh yeah – and thanks for all the grey hairs too!)

5. My sister (Mother of the cousins) and her two kids are descending on us like a swarm of locusts visiting us and spreading joy and noise this week. Hurray! (OK – where are those ear plugs?)

6. Two squares of dark chocolate a day is a remedy for most ills.

So – what makes you smile?

Weekend visitor

We have a weekend visitor… so full of energy and mischief… not sure how I can cope!

Actually, we went out for a one and a half hour walk and Frodo tired himself out by running off into the woods. Ten minutes of blowing the whistle finally brought him back. Have you every noticed how a dog can pant and smile at the same time? That’s the look he gave me as he came racing out of the woods.

Oh – did I forget to tell you? Oscar (my dog) is Frodo’s dad. You can tell they are related by the luminous green eyes they both have…

Frodo (son) is lying down. Oscar (father) is sitting up.

On a banal housekeeping note: Google doesn’t like my cookies (seems that chocolate chip are not their favourites!) and thinks that I am trying to spam them or something. So, until my resident geek nerd in-house computer wizard has the time to look at Error 403 – and fix it, I cannot leave all you lovely people any comments. Please forgive me and just imagine me reading and leaving you all mental (in both senses of the word!) comments.

Taking the knight off

It’s frantic over here – what with ice shows twice a day (I think I’ve got frostbite from hanging around the ice hall too much!), trying to meet deadlines and another concert next week. The deadlines are mine – the other activities are those of the anklebiters, for as you know: I have no social life!

Hate to say it, but doing the laundry sounds relaxing at this point… Well, only if I can do it like this guy.

Cool interiors

Bindu at Transient Lives wondered what the inside of the igloo we built at the weekend looks like. So, I went outside with my camera and the dog at 6.30 this morning. Got down onto my hands and knees and shot this through the doorway…

As you can see, there is a patchwork of small holes now because the sun has been shining on the igloo during the day.

I then crawled through the door right inside the igloo. It was surprisingly warm – and light. The small window overlooks the frozen lake.

Enjoy the view!

Holding onto winter

While spring blossoms in people’s  hopes, some of us are too busy holding onto winter. First, get a neighbour with a big spade and a special igloo-building bucket and then round up the kids on the street…

Work all afternoon with miniature-sized  helpers… (Wear a helmet in case of falling ice bricks!)

Let the kids go in for tea, while the artistic neighbour with the big bucket and spade continues working until it is dark.

Get up early on Saturday morning and continue building the igloo. Make sure it is big enough for the kids to stand up in. Oh – and don’t forget to build a door and a little window. Lay down a carpet of pine branches and put four children-sized chairs inside the igloo. Stand back and admire the result!

Let the igloo stand there in proud defiance of the thaw that is just starting. (Make sure you eat your veggie hot dogs in there before it melts!)

Yup – some of us find it hard to let go of winter. We just want to enjoy its very last moments — to the full!